Prayers

Even after all this time,

the sun never says to the earth,”You owe me.”

Look what happens with a love like that.

It lights the whole sky.

Hafiz of Persia

One of the most Beautiful quotes I have ever chanced upon.It is so simple yet awakening.

I am having this new swipe state of mind.It started after my gynae told me all the good not bad you are fine,until she pointed out a new diameter.

I am still thankful my husband was by my side.He did not have to ask anything.But his presence truly motivated me a whole lot and comfort me within.

All I could say after the consultation was..."Abang,doakan ok."

Tak perlu nangis or pengsan.I was actually feeling half stupor.And it kicked in properly when I was relaxing with my 3 heroes in the evening.I was very direct to my sons,relating what the doc just told of my condition.And my Husain...ya Allah...Husain.I fed him dinner with my hand that same evening.Tears just freely fell as I was pinching chicken n rice to feed.He didnt have to say anything.I knew why.So when things were calmer,I talked to him.I told him he did not have to worry all that much as it was not confirmed and tested yet.Just a concern and might bes.He stopped and reminded him prayers will be so much appreciated :))

So,my habit each time...rummaging thru the internet for infos.Same insight as what the gynae had told.Okay I was wee bit scared at first but not too bad now.I try not to think too much about it and try wholeheartedly to let go and leave it to Allah swt...meantime,I am starting a new diet,insya'Allah.Mainly fruit n juice.I might have to say goodbye to my favourite Jack n Jill bbq potato chips and convert to corn chips but dip musti nak ada....ahak.

It has been an alarm bell eversince.And this matter I did wonder before.But taking things smoothly and live life as usual...nothing too different except for some much needed improvements in the making that I have lacked a lot.Kicking myself for that but yes, it does makes me want to talk a lot from the inside.

In 3 months time,when normally it should be an annual follow up,I have to go for another scan n observation.I deeply hope that everything is okay and having just the usual recurrence of what I have for years already which healed for a couple in between.

Allah swt is bigger than anything I have and might have.So,instead of mulling over what my doc said and all,will try to divert this concern wholly to He swt.Just talk n talk n talk whats going on in my mind.

Eitherwise,I want to open my heart and Redha everything,amin...this I pray may Allah give me that super strength when the time comes..amin.

Meantime....the countless blessings is still in tact.Thank You ya Allah....you're the Best lah.


Mohon doa ya kengkawan...terimakasih dan semoga Allah swt memberkati mu semua dimana saja anda berada...amin.

Lapar now,lunch soon.